Saturday, April 24, 2010

haven't written in a long time...

I don't really know what to write, to be honest. So many things have been going on in my life that I don't know where to start. First of all, the realization of the fact that I'm getting old has just come and is beginning to scare me. There is too much to get done before I turn 18, and I haven't even begun to organize it all. Stress is just the main part of my life. I'm so stressed its difficult to function correctly, so I've just turned to saying, "fuck it", and walking away from my responsibilities. It's difficult because other people are getting affected by my not caring, and that hurts me because I hate hurting other people. It's just the part of me that's been thinking, I've cared too much about what other people feel and what other people do and what is going to happen to them, that now I don't want to care anymore. I don't want to be that person, but it seems like I have no choice.
My family has fallen apart, and I have no more energy to fix it and for some reason don't even care. That seems to be a big part of my life, that phrase, "I don't care". It is a damn shame. My family is all drama and no peace and I don't want that anymore. I just want to live my life and get things done and move on, but things from the past keep returning and biting me in the ass, and now I don't know what to do.
Hopefully things get better?


Peace.Love. &Music
Lys

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