Sunday, October 4, 2009

... and I ask myself .. How long can this happiness last? ... ( including a some quick rants. haha)

This weekend, was probably the happiest i've been in a long time.
Sounds so super girly/cheesy! and I hate sounding that way, but I have to when it concerns what I'm about to say. I have a boyfriend! ;D ... Finally, in almost a year or so, I have a boyfriend. This one, I chose wisely, and I waited, and I really really care about genuinely. I'm surprised, being the person that I am, I waited for so long just to hear him say, "Will you be my girl [friend]?" ... The intense amount of happiness I felt made me freakin' soar into the night sky last night when he said that. I knew it would happen, but for some reason, just the fact that it did made me soo happy. So much things in my life are going so wrong, but this one thing finally just happened for me, and it seems like, things might just get brighter. Of course, I'm not going to hope, because they probably won't, but for now, I'm just plain happy. I can't smile enough, I can't tell anyone enough, I can't stop showing off to my friends, but I don't care! because I deserve it! I deserve to finally say after so long, and after so many (you might think there wasn't a lot, but there definitely was) bullshit relationships, and after so many ass holes, I get to finally say, I have a boyfriend and he is AMAZING, he doesn't need the money, he doesn't need the title, he's amazing by just being him. That's the first time I was able to ever say that, and for the first time in a long time, I'm just sure now. A lot of people might say I'm stupid, but you know what, FORGET THEM! because I'm gonna enjoy this moment for as long as I have it, however little that time may be....

whoa wait .. that rant totally just included the "How long can this happiness last.." part .. but .. maybe I can salvage a few more words and continue on ...

Well, putting aside how happy I am, I still of course ask myself, "How long am I gonna be happy?" I've never felt this kind of "happy" before, but still, not everything lasts, so I fear when the crash will come. I'm honestly enjoying this part way to much for the time being and I don't want it to end. uuuugh .. I hate being skeptical about things sometimes, it is such a downer!


  1. I like the way you are writing.The flow is good.i feel it would be nice if you can avoid using words like bull shit, ass hole.ect.
    i uderstand how much you were pained.Do not wound your self.
    All the best.
    Follow me I can be some use to you.

  2. I'm Glad you are happy,happiness is a state of mind. Remember, no matter what is going on around you have to decide if you are going to keep your head up or let it you down. As always, I enjoy your blog. Keep Venting, we all need too.

    Peace and Blessings

  3. I'm so happy for you hun. Enjoy being happy, just remember that every relationship requires work, and when you do put in the effort it certainly pays off. I enjoy reading your blog.

    Keep smiling

    Beautiful Dreamer